Barking Spree

My dog has been happily, joyfully barking for THREE SOLID HOURS.
Do you hear me? Not three minutes.
Three hours! 3 hrs! 180 minutes!
I have hushed and shushed and scolded and fussed. I have put him in doggy time out in his crate.
Guess what? He can still bark from there!
I have put him out in the courtyard.
Guess what? He can still bark from there, too!
No matter where I put him, he can still bark and I can still hear him. In fact, it's WORSE when I lock him up because he barks and whines at the same time. I have given him a new bone but he barks at the bone. Nonstop. He barks at the bone without chewing on it. I tried playing with him, running around the house. He just runs around and barks at me. Nonstop.

I have thought about calling the vet. No, seriously. It sounds like my dog's barking button got stuck in the on position. It's not like he's staring furiously out the window barking at squirrels or intruders. If only. Then I could go chase the intruders and squirrels away! I am about to lose (what little there is left of) my mind!

There are so many things I didn't know about dogs!
Who knew dogs could get poopy, thow-uppy stomach viruses too??
Who knew dogs could bark for (now more than) three hours straight??
Who knew dogs could cause binge drinking in their humans??
VBGF - if you want your goddog to survive the day - you might need to come back and play with him the way you did this weekend. It is the only thing I can think of (that the ASPCA wouldn't object to) that might shut him up.


Peace (and quiet - oh please, please, please I'm begging for some peace and quiet.)