Sunday, August 20, 2006

Fun Facts About You - It's A Middle School Thing

Apparently, every single teacher gave the kids a 'Fun Facts About You' sheet to fill out in class on the first day. My two sixth-graders and my one eighth-grader complained mightily about how 'boring' this was and they implored VBGF (whose school doesn't start for two weeks) not to torture her students this way. She told them it really helps her to know her students as individuals and besides they're often hilarious and teachers need all the laughs they can get.

Wondering if my kids were more on the 'boring' side or the 'often hilarious' side, I asked them what kind of questions were on the sheet. The Ninja Princessa said that one of her teachers asked her to list her three favorite foods. She answered (honestly): pomegranates, tofu, and cabbage.

That's my girl. Her favorite foods are a weird, seedy, fruit thing; a gelatinous, bland, non-meat thing; and a stinky, vegetable thing. I'm not an expert, but I suspect her answer will stand out amid her classmates' answers of pizza, chicken fingers, and french fries. Chaos' favorite movie answer ("8 Legged Freaks") might stand out too, but then again, it might not. I'm pretty sure that all of Chaos' friends love that movie too. (But did they write it down, that's the thing.)

I know teachers at the beginning of the year are incredibly busy. Do you think they could possibly have had time to READ all of those answers? If teachers had unlimited time, just imagine what they could do with all that information! They could know who was in which friend clique. They could spot new pre-teen trends. They could compare this year's answers with past classes and chart subtle, historical shifts in adolescent attitudes. They could entertain themselves by playing guessing games tomorrow evening at Back To School Night - matching incoming parents with student sheets before reading nametags!

But surely the teachers have only had time to skim. Right? Right?
Oh Lordy. I might need some fashion advice. I need something clear, but understated. Something classic. I need the kind of outfit that says, "I really do cook normal food" and "He must get the gene for loving mutant, alien spiders from his father."
What do you think? Black, strappy sandals or closed-toe flats? Hmmmm?
Peace.

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