My, How Time Flies

Chaos is fixing to be 17 next week. There are days when it is practically impossible to believe that many years have passed since I held his wee baby self in my arms for the first time. Other days I wonder how he's not 30 yet. Ahhhh, motherhood.

Recently Chaos has become somewhat health conscious. He's eating fewer pop-tarts and more grilled chicken salad. He has for a while wanted to start lifting weights, but has not at all wanted to join a gym. The obvious solution? A home gym! Yes, yes. Soooo easy to figure out for a teenager with limited bedroom space and parents in two different states 500 miles apart. Nonetheless! I absolutely love lifting weights and think the overall well-being benefits of lifting far outweigh the hassles. So look what Chaos got for an early birthday present*:

(Some assembly required.)


I had a little help.


And I mean a very little help.


Apparently, it is important to nap on exercise equipment as you're putting it together. 16 and 11/12ths being such an exhausting age and all. What do you think? Is what the fitness books mean by stretching first?



We did finally get it completely assembled. (After a mere two days.) That was four days ago. It took until yesterday for any iron to be pumped. But I totally understand this. After all, apples don't fall far from the trees now, do they? Chaos comes by his "fixing to get ready to get started" tendencies honestly. None of that jumping right in for us - nosiree! Well...actually I'm getting better at it. Turns out, the more you do, the more you can do, and the more new things don't need so much preparation. I'm trying to start passing that on. It's been fun helping Chaos with the workout endeavor. I've really enjoyed the whole process of figuring out what he needs, what workouts he's willing to learn to do, what he wants out of it, what he thinks is "lame", etc. I'm looking forward to spotting for him today and maybe lifting a little myself. But I'm not so much looking forward to disassembling that sucker for the drive back to TN at the end of the summer!! Oh - and have you noted that this monster is in my LIVING ROOM?? You know I love my son when I let that happen, even if it is just for a couple of months. I think it's going to live in the garage at his dad's but I don't have to worry about that part of things. On the plus side, weights are quieter overall than drum sets. See - I am such a glass-half-full kinda mom!

And since no post would be complete without the gratuitious cute dog picture, I'll leave you with this cute shot of Wasabi peering into my room through the "wall" made out of bookshelves:

Peace.

*PS - How awesome is this?? I don't think Chaos would read it (even with the high Z factor) but if he met a girl who was carrying this around in her backpack? Yeah - I think I'd be saying hello to my future daughter-in-law at that point. Maybe I should get a copy to throw in his Rehearsal Dinner Box?

Frankendoggie

Our fluffy dog tried to run face first through a floor to ceiling window. Our windows are apparently original to our house - built in 1955 - which means he did not charge into safety glass. Poor, sliced up puppy! He has stitches on his face and both paws. He has to put up with being a conehead for a few weeks but eventually he'll be just fine. He'll even have a cool Harry Potter scar to show off to all his dog buddies.

Where Do I Go Now

Hmmmm, May 27th to July 9th is a long time. A lot has happened. Here's some of it:

We enjoyed hanging out all together while we could as school wound down.

The Ninja Princessa turned 13 and started taking martial arts again. (Tae Kwon Do this time, not karate but I'm not changing her name because it just wouldn't have the same ring. )

She got a silver bracelet from her brothers that says, "A sister is a forever friend." (They picked it out!) She almost cried which made them go all boy and start hitting each other to relieve the tension. (They did not put up with hugs.)

I got a hair cut. Woo hoo!

Chaos turned 16 and had a Cthulu tentacle "cake" only someone stole one of the tentacles before I could even take a picture. Boys! I'm sure I should have posted about this earlier too because I won't do it justice here, but Chaos has this new routine that he does about being oppressed because he's a "Ginger". It's a hilarious play on a combination of the red-headed step child being left out and Black Power rhetoric. (NOT to make light of real civil rights struggles. He more or less walks that line carefully.) I'll ask him to take out the trash and he starts in on how it's always the Ginger has to do the unwanted tasks (even though the chores rotate by week and it's his week on the schedule). He's got a couple of red-headed friends at school too that he calls his Brothers In Red. We've made jokes about him being the Ginga Ninja etc, etc. At one of our hilarity infused family dinners, Chaos interrupted a story the Princessa was telling and she interrupted right back saying something like, "Can it Ginger Snap!" We lost it. Hence the "Ginger Snap" on the cake.

Chaos tried to steal my Israeli Paratrooper canvas satchel so I got him one of his own with a skull on it.

Bet went to an oceanography institute for a week and built an underwater ROV (which I will have to get pictures of because it is very cool. She's going to do some great things with her students involving the topics she studied. She's trying to write a grant to get some sextants for her classroom. How cool is that?

We took pictures of the dogs' noses:
Tallulah -

Wasabi -

And Linus had a birthday. Bet and I decided to make it a "theme" birthday. We woke him up with the Secret Agent Man theme song and sent him on "missions" all day long (mostly to get his own birthday presents and to eat). He got clues and maps and had special agent assisting him.

Bet and I were Agent Smith and Agent Smith. We were bad ass. And we got to boss Linus around. It was all kinds of fun. Everyone had to wear X4/GM12 Eco-transponders (i.e. nametages). Agent-In-Training "The Bug" had a cool beetle on his and Agent "Slim Dunk" had a crazy cartoon WWF Wrestler. The evening ended with a party of 12 Special Agents converging on a little Indian restaurant around the corner for dinner. Good times!

There has also been some complete crappiness - mostly involving Mr. Tapioca. The court stuff is ridiculous and the tactics his red neck lawyer employs are stupid. (I hope Mr. Tapioca isn't paying that guy very much. I have yet to receive a document from him that has fewer than five spelling/grammar/punctuation mistakes. Seriously, the last thing I got was a list of questions that weren't even numbered correctly! That doesn't even go into the insanity of the content. I have had such a hard time resisting the urge to post that document here!!!) I think one of the reasons I haven't blogged is because I haven't wanted to spew about it all.

Chaos, Mayhem, and Havoc are all with him for the summer. I get to go visit and have the boys every other weekend. The Princessa is gone for 6 weeks (which used to seem long but is 3 full weeks less than the boys are gone!) Bug is an only child with us for the first time ever. It's a very different dynamic. Bug is still in school - and kicking ass. He's gotten nothing but A's so far! (Chaos finished his semester with straight A's too! The Princessa and Mayhem? Lucky to simply finish the year - especially Mayhem whose attention span was strained to the breaking point with weeks left to tough out! Havoc breezed through but doesn't get letter grades the way the middle and high schoolers do.) Bet is home for the summer and Linus is working from home. It is a summer completely different from any other.

The good news is the triathlon training is going well. We're on track for the San Francisco half marathon in a few weeks. (Our long run this weekend is an 8 miler!) We've already done a "mock tri" the same distance as the olympic distance we're signed up for in September (swim a mile, bike 26 miles, run a 10K) and we did it in less than the cut off time for the course. Since our main goal is to finish, it was a huge confidence booster!

I'm not sure what direction Lilymania is headed. There are some challenges to mommy blogging. It's hard to find the time to blog in the moment when we are in the midst of family activities and it's even harder to blog about my kids when they are all gone for the summer. I've found on my few attempts this summer that those posts come out pretty whiny! And there are only so many cute dog posts I can write. I don't plan on abandoning ship but I'm relatively content to drift aimlessly for a while. Maybe I'll play around with the format and layout and that will spark something - but until then... PEACE!

Photo Mania

Mayhem - did I tell you he's back on restriction? Yeah, FOUR D's on a progress report will do that to you. Good thing he's cute, eh?

Bug wanted to dye his hair black. It's a little blue and kind of elfin, but I think those are pluses in his book. He got A+'s in both of his classes! Yay! We like adult high school!

Wasabi says, "Where are mah eyes?"

Tallulah says, "Treats please!"

Kira says, "But I'm not even yours!"

The Ninja Princessa says, "Yay! I'm off restriction! I can play video games for the first time since February!"

Action shot of Havoc. And a close up of the dimple.

Linus on the porch with a look of "Quoi?"

Bet from faaaaaar away. Obviously I hadn't figured out the zoom yet.

Chaos being Calvin (will post more in this series tomorrow because they are pretty funny) and also him snuggling with Tallulah on my bed.

The kids brought me tortellini in bed (b/c I don't like breakfast foods). They were cute and silly and I love them to bits!!

Guess what I got for Mother's Day?? (And if you didn't guess cute pink camera then dude, what's wrong with you?) Peace.

When Last We Blogged...

I was having a hard time keeping up my end of the posting regularly idea and it seems like not much has changed on that front! So sorry. Yet life here has been great even if I haven't been blogging about it! First - gratuitous cute dog pictures:

Tallulah is a social sleeper. She is happiest if she can find a person or two over which to drape herself. She's given up sleeping on Wasabi. He won't put up with it. She tries to skooch up to him but he scoots away.
Snuggling with her tennis ball as a last resort.

This is as close as he'll usually let her get. Although immediately after this picture Wasabi sat on Tallulah (who was still sleepy). He was looking at us taking his picture and I think he thought he was going to get a treat and assumed the "Good Dog Sit" position. (To make it clear, we are not in the habit of rewarding him for perching on his sister!) I wish we'd been able to get it on film, though. It was funny.
"Wait, take that one again. I blinked."


I would post some pictures of the kids but they won't hold still. Chaos is busy with his Warhammer 40K armies, Bug is kicking butt at school and leading some Tribal Wars, Mayhem has a new girlfriend (this one is also smart and cute - the boy has GOOD taste!), the Princessa is planning her 13th birthday, and Havoc has been busy playing the lead in his class play (Aladdin), baking, and talking people into playing Alhambra dice with him.

Linus and I celebrated our anniversary yesterday! We met at our friend Mat-a-tat's birthday party (which is fun because Mat met his now-wife at that very same party). We needed to go back up to IKEA to get more shelves for the boyos - so Linus and I made a little getaway of it and stayed the night in Virginia. It's been a pretty long time since he and I have had time just the two of us. It was great - although I talked his ear off about training. We laughed and caught up with each other, being silly and not on a time schedule. It was such a relaxing time! We did see a sign along the way that I wish I'd been able to take a picture of. It said (in large blue letters) GREEK HOUSE FAMILY ITALIAN RESTAURANT. (Maybe there's a whole trend of Greek Italian restaurants because Bet and I ate Tiramisu for dessert at the Casa Grecque outside of Montreal for my birthday a couple of years ago.) Anyway, that was one of the things besides the sheer pleasure of hanging out together that made us laugh.

Bet and I have been training. We have a mini-triathlon this weekend and we've added a half-marathon to our schedule for August in preparation for the oly tri in September. I'm pretty on fire about being athletic. I've met some really kind and encouraging triathletes. I'm also still writing - every day in fact - but there never seems to be enough time to get all the way into it. Strangely for a "stay home" mom - I'm out and about A LOT.

That's the fly by. Peace!

Not Surprising (At All)

Currently my dog (Wasabi) is curled up on Bet's bed and Bet's dog (Tallulah) is curled up on my bed. We took Tallulah to the vet and asked about her habit of balancing on three legs to pee with the other leg raised up at a weird angle. "That," he said, "is a girl dog trying to pee like a boy dog." Which is strange because our boy dog pees like a girl dog. We bought them matching toys in different sizes - the small rope and squeaky snake for the puppy, the big rope and big squeaky snake for the big dog. It took them about two seconds to snatch the one meant for the other dog. Doggies, doggies, quite contrary - that's what we have.

It's A Good Thing She's Cute

Tallulah decided at 4 a.m. that she was done with sleep. I'd forgotten that puppies keep baby sleep schedules. We took turns entertaining her - but it was Wasabi that did the best job. He's such a good big brother! He hops and nips and chases her but he's gentle. They played tug-o-war with that pathetic rag of a toy squirrel. Tallulah tried every trick she knows but Wasabi stood there like a rock. Then he backed up a step or two and dragged her. They both thought that was fun.

He better enjoy that while he can - she's going to be bigger than he is in about three months. He tuckered her out enough that we got another nap out of her. Now if only the adults in the house could catch a few extra zzz's.
Peace.

Uni-dogs, Math Fertilizer, More Pigskin

Canine Singular:
I've never* had more than one pet at a time. I know people with menageries - but my fur babies have always been only children. I bring this up because Bet wants a puppy. She's grieved her sweet dog, Sluggo, for three years (almost exactly three years) and it's time. Bet has been ready for about six months but the timing, what with our family moving, hasn't been right until now. She loves hound dogs. Her Sluggo was a blue tick hound-mutt. We've found a good Redbone hound kennel. And they have a six week old girl pup. We're going to see her on Friday. I'd be surprised if Wasabi is still a single furchild on Saturday. I'm excited and nervous. I don't know if I'll be able to love another dog as much as I love Wasabi. Puppyhood about killed me the first time around. I don't know if I can handle it again. Of course, I know more about what to expect. Maybe that will make it better. I think Wasabi would LOVE to have a sister. He loves the human kids and they romp with him - but it's not the same. Having our friend's dog Grace stay with us for a few days was so much fun. Wasabi and Grace played and played and played. He was so sad to see her go! It seems like such a big step to me though. (I know, I know - for a woman with five children - having two dogs shouldn't cause this much angst - but it does!)

Teacher's Helper:
I helped Bet grade papers today. Having two seventh graders of your own in no way prepares you for the weirdness of seventh graders en masse. It is amazing to me the detailed sketches, doodles, and colored-in silliness that adorns papers that are otherwise devoid of the homework that is supposed to be on them! I think it is beyond strange how many of her students do their math tests in PEN. Ink pen. For math. It is even stranger how many seventh graders turn in papers with what appear to be bites taken out of the corners or sides of the paper. I showed her one with actual TEETH marks on it. "Yep," she said, "they eat the paper." Why? Why would a child eat their own homework? And last bit on the grading front: Bet is teaching prime and composite numbers. More than one child wrote "Compost number" on their paper. Bwa ha ha.

Thanksgiving means:
Football! Glory be - a week with football all over the place. I love it. (I secretly love it more than turkey.)

Is anyone eating something fun and non-traditional for Thanksgiving this year?
Peace, peace, peace.

*Ok - unless you count fish. We had an amazing clam and a puffer-fish cousin that made kissy marks all over the side of the tank - who knew fish could have such personality? But it's not any harder to take care of two fish than it is to take care of one. Know what I mean?

Squirrel Guts Everywhere

There are so many things I have in my brain to post about this morning - the debate last night, how meeting new friends is stirring up old memories, Beowulf tonight on the IMAX, Bug's 17th birthday party (OMG we are old enough to have a 17 year old son!!), football matchups this weekend (Havoc's fantasy team the Gridiron Chefs are still undefeated even after the Patriots' bye), comments about being transparent but not invisible in my life, etc. And I would post about all of that - or at least about SOME of that except I can't hear myself think!! This is what's going on at the foot of my bed (from which I blog):
(**The soundtrack doesn't come through but imagine if you will - "GRRRRL! RWLLLL! RRGHHHH! RWLLL! GRWWWL!" And toss in a few dozen SNORTS and a few whines.**)



Wasabi has a friend Grace staying over for a few days. They have been playing tug-o-war with a fluffy squirrel toy for HOURS. (You may remember this is Wasabi's favorite game.) Squirrel fluff is flying. Everywhere. It's on my bed, my floor, my hair. Wasabi is ridiculously happy. He and Grace are very cute. They are also very loud. I have tried to shoo them out of my room, but they think I am trying to play with them. Real posting may have to wait until tomorrow!
Peace.

Scatch N'Sniff Wasabi

I have had two cats in my life - one for 19 years and one for 13. I don't remember anything about their scent, except for the second kitty who smelled terrible on the day before he died from renal failure. Other than that, all of my sensory memory of them is about their sharp little kitten teeth; their silky, soft fur; their dry, raspy tongues; or their freaky, yodely meows.


My dog, however, is a whole different experience. Yes, he's soft and fluffy. Yes, he barks (and growls and sometimes whines, if there's a squirrel to be seen.) But mostly, he smells weird. Even when he's DRY, he smells weird. I suppose it's my fault for naming him after a spice that makes my nose run and eyes water. Scent karma or something. One reason Wasabi smells strange is that he frolics in the yard and regularly crashes through the herb garden in pursuit of cheeky chipmunks. Last week the yard rodents must have lured him out to the furthest edges of the garden because Wasabi smelled of jasmine and sage. You could smell him the minute he walked into a room. Havoc said, "He smells like one of your candles." His odor is not always so savory. Once he chased a squirrel under my 12 year old car and came out smelling like grease and gasoline. Squirrels are his downfall. Not only does he follow them to places he shouldn't go, but now he's begun to act like them.

This morning I've been cleaning house and doing laundry with a little help from my furry pal. I sat down on the couch to take a break (and check the final score of last night's game). Wasabi jumped up beside me and gave me a slurpy dog kiss. I scratched his ears and snuggled with him. Wasabi's breath smelled like Bounce-scented acorns, his fur like rosemary and his paws like corn chips. Ah, the heady perfume of my bizarro dog. I ask you, is this normal?? Do you think he's the canine equivalent of the "too much cologne wearing man"? Will other dogs turn their noses up at (or away from) him? I wonder about this* because he has a playdate on Thursday with our friend Jeff's dog, Grace. Should I try to de-stinkify him? Or let him be himself in all of his olfactory glory?
Peace.

*In lieu of stressing about money and holidays and crap with my ex and the evil teacher and what to cook for dinner tonight and whether my kids are as well adjusted as they seem and...

Chipmunk Snorting

My dog currently has his nose wedged into a small hole in the patio bricks where he once saw a chipmunk flee. He is huffing and puffing - his sides pumping in and out. He is a dog-shaped bellows. He picks his head up, turns to me (clearly gauging my patience level with his antics), and then quickly stuffs his fluffy, leaf-covered snout back in the hole. He wheezes a bit then turns that into a short series of fake sneezes. Then he goes back to huffing and puffing. He will continue this bizarre little ritual for as long as I will let him. WHY? What on earth is he doing? He cannot possibly think he's going to catch a chipmunk this way. Does he think he will learn more about them if he just keeps sniffing and sneezing between the bricks? Canine behavior is so perplexing to me.

Walking to school yesterday, we discovered the unmistakable sign of rabbits. Bet said, "Be careful not to let Wasabi near. He'll eat it." Rabbit poo?!! My dog eats rabbit poo? I am 100% positive that in the little guide book on Wheaten Terriers, where they give you a short quiz to determine if owning a Wheaten is for you, it does NOT ask if you can handle a dog who eats bunny pellets!

I'm beginning to wonder if all that Bounce** has gone to Wasabi's brain. Trying to inhale chipmunks and consume rabbit droppings does not seem normal to me. I know he's a dog, but there has to be a weirdness line somewhere, even for dogs. I'm pretty sure my poor, fluffy dog has crossed it! Anyone know a good therapist for dogs in the greater Raleigh area?
Peace.

**I would link to one of the several posts about our dog snorting Bounce laundry sheets, but blogger is not being cooperative. Word to the wise - do not let your dog near the Bounce. Before you know it you will be fending off weird canine addictions right and left!

When Not To Bike To The Beach

Our bike trips seemed to be plagued with extreme weather. Last year we chose to bike in Upstate New York and Canada thinking to avoid the heat. Sadly two of the seven days we biked were the hottest on record there - and incidentally some 10 - 15 degrees hotter than home! Then in April Bet faced record breaking cold temperatures while biking in the South. I don't know why we didn't expect the 104 degree day we had on our first day biking to the beach! I was done after two days but Bet biked the 73 miles on the last (and coolest day) to finish on a very strong note. Here are some images from the trip:

Bet and I checking our gear just before take off.

Fluffy dog saying goodbye to Mama.

Fluffy dog not so fluffy anymore.

Wasabi barked at the waves and tried to bite them. I wish I'd been able to get a picture of him when he'd only gotten his legs wet and the rest of him was still dry. He looked like a cotton ball with chicken legs. Later when his face was soaked and his beard hanging all bedraggled, he plunked his chin down into the sand and pulled it back up again - with sand dreads dangling from his chin. We burst out laughing which made him run around some. All in all it was a fun trip to the beach. (I'll gloss over the part where Linus, the Princessa, Bug and Bet all stayed out in the sun between 12 and 4 without enough sun screen on. They are all peeling now. I'm peeling too - but if I hadn't sat under an umbrella back in the state park headquarters for those four hours, I'd probably still be in the hospital with sunstroke.) The boys should be home tomorrow and school starts in a week. Summer is coming to a close. This time of year is both sad and exciting to me. This year it might end up being more of both of those things. I'll try not to be a bore about it here on Lilymania, but I just got a certified, return-receipt letter. (I hate those fuckers. They are never good.) This one was from my ex's new lawyer saying that not only has my ex decided not to move, but he's decided to sue me for custody of my children. Soooo pleasant, that. I'm hoping he brings my kids back to me as scheduled tomorrow. I'm hoping I won't whine and carry on here. But I might. It helps me process. Hope the summer is closing out nicely for everyone. I'm off to see Order of the Phoenix a second time.
Peace.

Wasabi's New Name

SH gave Wasabi a bath today. Because Wasabi doesn't shed, he has to be bathed and brushed often. His fluffy, fluffy fur holds LOTS of water. No matter how much you towel him off at the end, when you let him loose to do his allover body shake - TONS of water goes flying. And he looks like a hairy, scraggly mess until he dries off and fluffs back up. I wish I'd taken a picture of him today but SH now calls him "Sponge Dog Hair Pants."

Peace.
PS - Happy 4th of July (to those in the States). Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday. Catch back up with you when the fireworks are over.

Haven't Had One Of These In A While

Remember how cute my dog is? This is for his godmother (VBGF) who said she had to search too long through the blog to show a picture of him to some friends. It's also for SH who is in San Fran for the week for work. I'm tempted not to pity him after he told me about the scrumptious breakfast he had, but I think I still will. After all, I have 40 lbs of cute dogness curled up on my feet and he doesn't. Come home soon y'all. Your dog misses you!