Friday, September 14, 2007

Yes. No. Crap.

This is Mayhem's new answer for everything. Whether I ask about his homework being done or whether he remembered his laundry, this is the answer I get. It's an enthusiastic, "Yes!" followed by a hurried, "No" (sometimes preceded by a, "Wait!" or a telling, "Uh,") and then a sincerely sorrowful, "Crap." He SO wants to please but then he wants to be honest and then he feels bad both about being scattered and also about the lecture/extra chores he knows he's about to receive. It cracks me up every time he does it. It's a succinct summation of Life in the Mayhem Zone.

I might as well be all about Mayhem today and tell you about his weekend plans: He's going to the dance.

Despite the ridicule from Chaos and maybe to get away from the Princessa and her four friends who are having a HP movie marathon here instead of going to the dance, Mayhem is going stag to the first middle school dance of the year. I hear one of the reasons he's going is because he's been "zapped" so many times. Zapping is some business (game? political process?) involving having someone's name written on your hand along with a time. If the person whose name is inscribed on your flesh looks at you before the appointed time, then you (or they?) are "zapped." Somehow the zapping results in someone being asked to dance - although again it is not clear whether it is the zapper or the zappee who has to do the asking. There are many involved (think Byzantine) rules governing the whole system from what constitutes an actual "look" on down to what color inkpen must be used before lunch. I have no idea how the names and times are chosen and parceled out. And I'm not going to ask any more questions about it, because frankly, the answers make my head spin. If you want to start this program at your school, you must get the details from Mayhem. He is apparently a total stud muffin because he's been zapped a record seven times even before the day of the dance! He forgot to have me sign a French test (on which he got a 101%!!), he can't find either the charger for his cellphone or the headphones for his iPod (both of which are very important to him) - but he had picked out his clothes for the dance by 6 a.m this morning and has asked me to buy him a brand new comb so his hair will be just right for the occasion.

Mayhem: where middle school and ADD collide in the most marvelous fashion.


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