Weird News Day

You know - there is just some weird shit in the news:
- I do not know (nor do I wish to know!!) how one goes about having sex with a car - or a helicopter for that matter. It also occurs to me to wonder how one would break up with a car. Walk away? Sell it to someone? (Eeeewwwww - can you imagine how gross it would be to realize you'd bought a car from that guy?!!!!!!!!!!)

- Not being a hockey fan, I had never heard of octopi tossing until last week. Although my good buddy Unky Dunky (who is a Predators fan and loathes Detroit) says that in Nashville, sometimes Preds fans respond by tossing catfish on the ice to counteract the Red Wing octopus mojo. Hel-lo! Throwing fishy creatures at each other is bizarre fan behavior. (And the guy in the article, trying to be delicate in talking about the goo on the ice? Cracks me up. 'Cause hockey fans are known for their tender sensibilities and can't handle a full on explanation of why exactly their cephalopod twirling must stop?)

Crazy crap aside - I keep reading the news because sometimes I come across stuff like this that makes my day:
Team Hoyt is incredible. Inclusion is almost as big a deal to me as peace. I should probably have saved this for Father's Day, but it's too wonderful not to pass on.


Peace.

Love This

This was on the car in front of me the other day:

Sportsmanship

If this doesn't make you want to run out and sign your kids up for a team sport, then nothing will. (Grab a hankee before you click!) Peace.

A Whole Bunch Of Chaos

I have mentioned how challenging it can be to take a "good" picture of my almost 16-year old son, Chaos, right? He thinks it's HILARIOUS to pose normally and then make a face right as the camera snaps. He's talented that boy. So here he is practicing some of his favorite looks.

Here he is going for either Rob Zombie or a serial killer.

He's laughing because he just stuck his face RIGHT into the lens and said, "Fisheye!"

Then he got mad because I erased a picture. I said, "Your mouth was open and your eyes were almost closed. That one was terrible!" He said, "That was my stoner look. I thought it was funny. You should have kept it." I said, "Your stoner look?! I don't want you to have a stoner look! Ever! How do you know what stoners look like anyway?" He rolled his eyes at me and said, "I go to high school, mom. Sheesh." Then he said I could take one more picture and he would be good. The one below is what he considers good.

I finally caught him in the middle of an important PS3 mission where he was too busy to pull a Calvin on me. I love these two pictures, because this is what he really looks like (even if he'd rather you thought he looked scary like the first picture.)

Peace.

Photo Mania

Mayhem - did I tell you he's back on restriction? Yeah, FOUR D's on a progress report will do that to you. Good thing he's cute, eh?

Bug wanted to dye his hair black. It's a little blue and kind of elfin, but I think those are pluses in his book. He got A+'s in both of his classes! Yay! We like adult high school!

Wasabi says, "Where are mah eyes?"

Tallulah says, "Treats please!"

Kira says, "But I'm not even yours!"

The Ninja Princessa says, "Yay! I'm off restriction! I can play video games for the first time since February!"

Action shot of Havoc. And a close up of the dimple.

Linus on the porch with a look of "Quoi?"

Bet from faaaaaar away. Obviously I hadn't figured out the zoom yet.

Chaos being Calvin (will post more in this series tomorrow because they are pretty funny) and also him snuggling with Tallulah on my bed.

The kids brought me tortellini in bed (b/c I don't like breakfast foods). They were cute and silly and I love them to bits!!

Guess what I got for Mother's Day?? (And if you didn't guess cute pink camera then dude, what's wrong with you?) Peace.

One Grateful Mom

It is hard for me to come up with words intense enough to express my gratitude for my family. I treasure my own mother and I adore my five children. Even on the toughest days, I don't lose sight of how blessed I am to have them all. (If I ever do sound like I've forgotten to count my blessings - feel free to kick me in the shins. Hard.)

This week I have inadvertently stumbled upon the blogs of two separate families whose stories, while wrenching and tragic, are being told with honesty and grace. I cannot imagine the trust it takes in the world to open yourself so wide in grief. I am humbled by their willingness to stay connected. This weekend (and pretty much from now on) my heartfelt prayers will go out to the families of Susan and Liz. Peace.

I've Never Been Called For Jury Duty But...

Guess who spent 15 hours in a room without windows telling people where to put their ballots on Tuesday? Honestly, it was a fantastic experience. I was totally jazzed about being part of the voting process. (I single handedly saved at least one ballot from total obscurity. "Ma'am that's a trash can. If you want your vote counted you have to feed your ballot into that machine right over there. Yes. That one with the big sign. See the arrows? Yes. That one.") It was exciting to see folks I knew. More than a dozen people waved and called me by name as they came through. I could feel my tendrils unfurling as I let myself take root in this community. My fellow poll workers were an interesting mix: a rabbi, a blue-collar lesbian, a retired Coca-Cola Co. executive*, a 20 year-old college student studying to be an elementary school teacher, and a well-dressed woman in her fifties who seemed uptight at first but who turned out to be witty, organized, and quite kind. (Her two kids brought her coffee mid-morning. The two of them were tattooed, pierced, skinny in an 80's hair band kind of way, and when they walked in, she LIT UP. They gave her a big hug and she beamed for about 10 minutes after they left. It was pretty remarkable to see a complete stranger morph like that. I don't know if it was the coffee or the thoughtfulness of her kids (or the combo) but she was much more easy-going for the rest of the day.)

It was a long day. We were required to be there from the set up through the official poll closing/clean up procedures. We all brought our lunches and snacks and only left the room to go to the restroom. It was a busy day, as you'd expect given the democratic primary race thus far. I had expected clumps of voters, long lines at times and dull moments at others, but we were steady all day. The veteran poll workers assured me that we had an unusually high turnout, especially for a primary, and also that we'd worked out a good system to get folks through the process without big lines. Our precinct was very well run. I think the only people who had to wait at all were the 17 1/2 year olds (because we ran out of ballots for them!) or the few who had issues with their registration. The hundreds of others fairly sailed through. One woman even seemed miffed that she wouldn't have a chance to read her book while waiting! All in all, it was an incredible experience for me. And? I didn't know it when I signed up, but they pay you for it! I have no idea how much - probably not a lot - but maybe enough to take myself out to eat to make up for the lunch and dinner I missed. Peace.

*There's more! You find out all kinds of things about people when you sit and talk to them for 15 hours. This guy turns out to have played in the NFL!!! He played for the Chicago Bears in the early 60's. I was babbling excitedly to Linus about how this guy had played at Lambeau Field. Lambeau! I heard about the icy January game, the field like concrete, and how by the fourth quarter, everyone's pads were frozen solid. This guy described having to get in the showers fully dressed in order to thaw the gear enough to get it off. I recounted it all to Linus who smiled and nodded. Uh-huh. "Do you even know where Lambeau Field is?" I asked. "Texas?" he guessed. "TEXAS?!!!" Linus hugged me and said,"Maybe you should call your surrogate sports husband Duncan for this one, love." So I did. Duncan, at least, was properly impressed.

This same guy also mentioned (when I pulled out my Vanderbilt sweatshirt) that he was going to a family reunion in the Nashville area this summer. He said his nephew had 400 acres. "A farm?" I asked. "Well, kind of. It's over there...not in Brentwood. What's the area close by?" "Franklin?" I suggested dubiously. "Yes! Franklin." "Wow. Four hundred acres in Franklin? What is he, a country music star?" I joked. "Actually, yes," was the reply. "Anyone I've heard of?" "Maybe. You heard of Brad Paisley?" "Er, yeah. I have." But of course Linus hasn't. So I called Duncan again. There you have it - my very Amurican day, chock full of voting, football, and country music stars!

Shunnnn The Non Believer

The phrase "It's a magical liopleurodon" cracks me up every, single, freaking time. Other things guaranteed to make me laugh without fail: MC Hammer's pants and Basil, Neville, and Yorick. I can hear the kids laughing in the other room as they watch This Is Spinal Tap (for the second time today.) We have been laughing together a lot recently - mashing together our own running gags from the comedy we've seen as a family. No doubt we are incomprehensible to outsiders but man, I love hanging out with our crew. Hope everyone's having a good weekend. Peace.