Thursday, April 12, 2007

Behold!

I love the word "behold". It is commanding. And sassy. There is a Bible verse from Isaiah (the exact chapter/verse are tattooed on the back of my friend St. Ann's neck but I still don't remember the numbers) that says, "Behold, I am doing a new thing!" (In spite of the fact that I could probably find it with two minutes of internet research, I'm not going to link to it - because I am Ms. Distracto on an adrenaline high today and those two minutes could easily become two hours. I would get sucked into the internet and NEVER finish this blog post.)
The point is "Behold!" And "I'm doing a new thing!"
It's like "Stand back!" And "Something's happening here!"
Recently I created and have been saying some affirmations about change and strength and newness.
Guess what happened? NEW THINGS!
The problem is, they're not exactly the new things I was going for.
  • *Like VBGF moving here - which is a new thing I totally wanted to happen but which turned instead into a new job for her back there - which is great but unexpected. Her principal, in an effort to keep her on staff, offered her the job she's always wanted - teaching Algebra I and Geometry. Not only that, but she'd "move up" with the class she's teaching now - and they are the best class she's ever had. Not only that, but she'd also get to leave behind a co-worker that has made life miserable for years and she'd get a chance to publish some of the work she's been doing this year and present it at next year's state math conference. How fun is it to have your best friend offered a job so great on all levels that she can't pass it up?!!! Behold!
  • *Like Mr. Tapioca Head and child support issues - which, if you've read this blog at all, you realize is nothing new but which I decided to let go of completely from the outset. That's new. Usually I hold on, dig my heels in, and show how right I am. Letting go before I've even had my say is not fun. It's not great for my kids not to get $$ that should be providing for them - but it's a one-time thing and letting go of this wrangle is WAY less stressful (for all of us) than an audit of my bank statements and his for the past six years. And oh yeah, the state seems to think that we've only been divorced for one year. Hmmm - since he got remarried in 2003 and I got remarried in 2004 - that would make us both bigamists. That would be new - but, again, not what I was going for. (Can a woman be a bigamist? I know there's polyandry and there's polygamy - but does bigamy cover both? Hmmmm. I'd look that up too if not for the distracto factor again.)
  • *Like Sweet Hubby's company imploding during an internal board battle. It pretty much sucks to be affiliated with the CEO who's losing the battle. The board hired a "turnaround specialist" to "save the company" - but as it's a new company on the (provable) verge of success - the whole thing is crazy. The "consultant" they hired first suggested firing two employees to save money. If you combine both of their annual salaries, it doesn't equal what the board is paying this consultant - not to mention the fact that there was no suggestion as to who would do the job these two people currently do. As it's a company of about 15 folks - losing two - any two would probably be hard - but these two are absolutely required to launch the product. Mr. Consultant then suggested that he, himself, be given a seat on the board. His next suggestion was that the CEO be replaced. His idea of a replacement? Himself. Two years this team has been working together - heart and soul poured into this company. Sweet Hubby shepherded the product through the FDA approval process under budget and in record time - a full six weeks earlier than the best guess first estimate of when it would be possible - and yet? The board wants to shatter the team and "save" the company. It is a whole lot like setting a house on fire and then getting an award for being the first on the scene and putting it out. Never mind the collateral damage and the destruction of irreplaceable photos - he saved the house!!
    Bite me. That's how I feel about it.
  • *Like going from having a contractor out next week to give us an estimate and schedule us for some remodeling to thinking, perhaps, we might have to move! Eeeek.
New jobs, new plans, new budgets - possibly new home and new schools?! I feel like a monkey who was swinging merrily from limb to limb (carefully not looking down at the alligators in the river below) who suddenly realizes the limb he thought was next is nowhere to be seen. And here I am swinging back and forth, back and forth - looking desperately for a new branch - maybe a new tree (and still carefully avoiding noticing those alligators!) It's possible that all these new things would have come about even if I hadn't started saying affirmations, but just the same, I think I'm going to reword what I say each morning - just a bit.

So... How was your Spring Break?

1 comment:

St. Ann said...

Behold! I am doing a new thing;
Even now it springs forth,
Do you not perceive it?
Isaiah 43:19

I never did find that same translation again, but that's the way I read it first, so I'm sticking to it.