Monday, May 21, 2007

Havoc's Take On The Birds And The Bees

The other day Havoc desperately wanted to watch a movie with the whole family. No way that was going to happen. Everyone was going in twelve different directions and the 'to do' lists were a mile long. He did not want to be alone. I can understand that. I told him there wasn't time for a whole movie before his dad came to get him, but that we could find one together on demand and watch for about 45 minutes. This is how we came to be watching "Look Who's Talking". Remember that movie? It has Kirstie Alley and John Travolta with Bruce Willis as the voice of "Mikey" the baby. I had forgotten how very 80's it was. The hairstyles were cracking Havoc up! I'd also forgotten the opening bit. The story line is about how a single mom goes about finding a father for her new baby son. The part I'd forgotten is the cute little visual at the beginning of how she became a single mom.

Havoc said, "What's that?! Is that her baby?"
"That's an egg." I explained.
"She's laying an egg? Like a chicken? Right there in the office with that guy there?"
"Sort of. Not really. Remember the puberty book? This is that kind of egg. It is what grows into a baby. They're showing you what's happening inside her body. Women can only get pregnant during the few days each month that they have an egg healthy and waiting."
"Wow, it's really big!"
"No, it just looks that way. It's a movie. In real life, it's very small."
"How small?"

While we were going though all that the movie concerned itself with a bit of plot: Kirstie Alley talking to her client (and lover) and then some kissing and then...
"What are those? Guppies?"
Guppies! I thought I was going to choke. His eyes were glued to the screen.
"Those are sperm. The egg is the mommy's part and the sperm are the dad's part and when they meet up at just the right time, they make the beginnings of a baby. Remember?"
The whole time I'm saying this, Bruce Willis' voice is saying, "Come on fellas! Faster. We're almost there! Look at that! I'll beat you there!"
Havoc thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen. Mommies laying eggs inside their bodies! Dads sending racing guppies with Bruce Willis' voice up inside to get the egg! Never mind the puberty books we bought and the talks about how babies get made and the conversations we've had about what sex is - you just know this is what he's going to remember. Thanks Hollywood! I guess chickens and guppies are as as valid as birds and bees, right? Right?
Oh well. What's one more therapy session?

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