Friday, December 16, 2005

Chaotic Thinking

My son, Chaos, has lost his mind. Maybe not the whole thing - just the part that thinks - or maybe just the part that thinks as I define thinking. Two recent conversations to illustrate my point:
Conversation #1:
Chaos: Mom, you missed the parent meeting.
Me: What parent meeting?
C: The one they just had about the game tomorrow, you know, times and where to meet and all that.
Me: They just now had a parent meeting? And it's over? But I'm here at the exact same time I always pick you up! Practice isn't even supposed to be over for another 10 minutes! When did they schedule the meeting? Did they send a note? How did the other parents know?
C: They told us yesterday. I was going to tell you.
Me: (grrrr) Ok - so what did they say at the meeting? What did coach say about where to meet and when?
C: (looking positively aghast) I don't know! I didn't listen in on it or anything. It was for parents!

Conversation #2:
Me: So what exams do you have tomorrow?
Chaos: Ummm. Either Science or English. No wait. It's NOT Social Studies. It might be Math. But maybe it's Computer. We don't have an exam in PE.
Me: (you will just have to imagine the completely dumbstruck look on my face) You don't KNOW what exams you have tomorrow? Let me see your assignment book.
Chaos: Uh. I think I left it at school.
Me: (sternly) Well, I guess you'll just have to study for ALL of them tonight just in case. Better pull out your books.
Chaos: (rolling his eyes) Mom, we don't have to use the books. We've been making study guides in class. That's what we've been doing all week.
Me: Then let me see your study guides.
Chaos: I think I left them in my locker.
Me: WHAT???? You don't know what exams you have and you left all of your study materials in your locker? What are you thinking?
Chaos: Mom, I was late for PE. I couldn't go back to my locker or I would've gotten written up and the bus leaves right after PE. I couldn't miss the bus.
Me: (grrrr) HOW COULD YOU CHOOSE PE OVER THE SEMESTER EXAMS OF ALL YOUR OTHER CLASSES?!

Conversation#2b (the next day)
Me: So what exams did you have?
Chaos: Social Studies. (Note that is the only one he was sure he wasn't having that day!)
Chaos: Oh and Math. I got a 96 on the Math. (He's always been smart - which is why this is driving me CRAZY!)
Me: So what exams do you have tomorrow?
Chaos: Probably either Science or Computer. Or maybe English.
Me: Are you telling me YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT EXAM YOU HAVE EVEN THOUGH WE WENT THROUGH ALL OF THIS YESTERDAY????
Chaos: Chill, Mom. I brought home the study guides.
Me: Let me see them.
Chaos: Here. Ummm - where's my computer one? Wait, here's my math. (Note that he brought home the study guide for an exam he'd already taken!) Ok - this is spelling. Oh wait, that's not a study guide. Hey, could you sign this? I think I was supposed to turn it in last week.
Me: (grrrrr)

My response options seem to consist of growls and questions I can't believe I have to ask.

His teachers tell me he is respectful and participates in class. He's getting decent grades at a "good" school! I have no idea how his this can be so when his organizational skills have clearly relocated to Siberia. All those parenting articles I read about 'object lessons' and 'natural consequences' lied to me! His coaches and karate instructors say that he has good focus and persistence. I just don't get it. I used to work with teenagers and I remember parents saying that to me all the time. Their teenager was driving them crazy and they just didn't get it. I told myself to remember it. And I do. I remember it all the time! But you know, I always thought that remembering it meant I would be able to do something about it. (grrrrrr)
Peace.

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