Thursday, December 08, 2005

Thanksgiving without the Turkey

Today I am feeling tired, wrung, lifeless. 'Plumb wore out' as the phrase goes. I don't even have enough energy to have another terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. No, today is the kind of gray, wet, cold, day where everything that is bad and difficult and logistically frustrating is just that - bad, difficult, frustrating.
On days like today something happens inside my head and my heart when I begin to ennumerate for myself all of the obstacles and irritations facing me. My brain gets stuck on the problems and can find no solutions and my heart can offer only consolation, no actual 'help'. My mind wails and worries about how six people are going to get where they need to be with no functioning cars and my heart says, "Thank heavens it's not sleeting." My head frets about the best way to help my mother take care of her desperately ill brother and my heart says, "Oh I am so glad I had that Southwest rapid rewards ticket to give her". On and on through my list. At every point of hardship, I am spurred to gratitude. And at some point the gratitude starts to outpace the hardship. It happens every time.
My blessings outweigh my cursings. It's one more thing to be grateful for on a day looming with ickiness. For whatever reason, the spirit of Thanksgiving stays with me long after the leftover turkey has grown green feathery stuff in the fridge.

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