When Havoc was four, his father got remarried. Havoc LOVED getting to wear a tuxedo that day. He said to me, "When I grow up, I'm going to wear a suit all the time - even on days I'm not getting married." (Sidenote: now, as a special treat, right when he is about to outgrow them, I let him wear his suit/penny loafers whenever he wants. I'm sure the neighbors think it's odd to see him tearing around the yard or climbing a tree in a suit and tie, but what the hey, scaring the neighbors is nothing new.)
I got remarried the next year, on a beach in Mexico and, of course, we talked about weddings again. We had many funny conversations (including one where he asked me why we weren't going to play games and hide everyone's shoes during the ceremony like at dad's wedding - uh...???) but my favorite was this one:
Havoc: When I grow up, I'm going to marry Dora the Explorer.
Me: Why? (Wondering if I should point out that Dora is, er, a person of the cartoon persuasion.)
H: Mom, she is so cool! She speaks Spanish! And she does all kinds of stuff like having adventures - and have you seen her?! She's pretty.
Me: Oh, so you like Latina girls?
Me: Hispanic girls. Girls who look like Dora. You know, girls who look like the girls in Mexico.
H: Yes, and I'm going to have a black son. So he can have his hair in braids. Not girl braids. BOY braids.
Me: Hmmmm. Are going to adopt this baby boy?
H: No. Her tummy will get big and we will have a black son.
Me: Well, if you marry a girl who looks like Dora and you have a baby together, then that baby will look sort of like you and sort of like her. Not black.
H: (rolling his eyes at me) Mom, by the time I'm old enough to get married, they'll know how to let peach persons like me have black children.
I am hopeful that the world, indeed, will know how to let peach persons like him have black children by the time he's old enough to marry. What a lovely vision, don't you think? I LOVE the way my child looks at the world. Havoc is not your average bear. And I bring this up, because I've found the perfect wife for him! She's not a cartoon character; she's a real, live girl. She's ethnically Chinese, not Hispanic - but oh, she's brilliant and quirky! I love her. I know he would love her. Her name is Nora (which rhymes with Dora - see it's a match made in heaven!) If only arranged marriages were still in vogue! I would so be negotiating with mimi smartypants right now!