Thursday, February 28, 2008

Chaos And The Squid Of Provocation

Last night, as we were trying to get supper* on the table, Chaos and Mayhem had a crazy loud dispute over the word - and I'm going to have to spell it the way it sounded when Chaos said it - provok-shun. Mayhem (correctly, but irritatingly in the way only little brothers know how to do) maintained that it was not a word. Chaos said impatiently, "Of course it's a word. Provoke, provok-shun. What else would it be? So there are these giant squids who attack without any provokshun..." Not to be distracted by the actual story Chaos was trying to tell, Mayhem steered the argument back to the word - and they ended up bringing the ruckus to Bet and me. Naturally we offered the word "provocation" which Chaos pronounced "illogical" on the spot. Be that as it may... Mayhem tried to gloat; Chaos tried (half-heartedly) to keep arguing but he really wanted to get back to the squid story; Bet and I tried not to laugh (or be grossed out). Chaos went on to describe the squid whose head/body was bigger than Mayhem, whose tentacles were longer than Bug, and who had teeth (in the suckers on its tentacles) "more sharper" than knives. Ay yi yi. More sharper? WHO is this child? Bet said, "Are you sure he's your kid?" (Thoughtful pause while I reminded myself that not only had I seen his red-headed little self emerge from my body lo, those many years ago - but I, Lilymane, had in fact said, "there was police cordons and heavy 70's cars parked on the side of the road..." on local television this very week.) "Yep. He's my kid." I love him to bits. Even if doesn't think so as he complains that no one ever listens to his stories, everyone always argues with him, and people are forever correcting him. And making him do chores. And sending him to his room without the least, little bit of provokshun.


*Supper, by the way, was Shepherd's Pie - three variations (meat, vegetarian, chicken) and salad - NO SEAFOOD. Nothing to instigate a discussion of giant, razor-toothed squids rampaging for no reason. In case you wondered.

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