Turns out Havoc collects* orbs. He has one. This one.
(*Sidenote to St. Ann - I know, I know. Apples don't fall far from the tree, do they? I told him that if he called it a proto-collection and whined about how he'd been trying for YEARS to collect them, then suddenly he would have orbs galore.)Havoc LOVES this orb. I have (on more than one occasion) found it in his bed. We had to put a stop to that though, since braining Mayhem (who sleeps on the bottom bunk) in the middle of the night would not be cool. Mostly Havoc's orb lives on my desk when he doesn't need it. Need it? He giggled gleefully when I asked him what he could possibly 'need' it for. "It's the Orb of Confusion, mom." With that non-explanation, he snatched it and ran. He's cute but weird. I may have mentioned that before.
So the other day, Havoc and I were eating breakfast together after the big kids had gone to school. Havoc turned to me and said, "You know what I'd like to try?"
I said, "What would you like to try?"
"People don't eat bats."
"Well, maybe not for breakfast, but they do for dinner."
"Yuck. They're like mice that fly. People do NOT eat them. For breakfast or for dinner."
"Mom, they don't fly. They swim!"
"Bats don't swim. What are you talking about?!"
Pause. Blink. Blink.
Giggles poured forth from my child. Howls followed. When he could finally get a hold of himself somewhat, he said, "I don't want to eat baTs. I said 'bass'. The fish! You know how we're going fishing with Cub Scouts? FISH! You thought I wanted to eats BATS! You are sooo weird." Me? Forget the bat part, he's the one who was thinking about eating bass for breakfast! I'm weird? This from a kid who collects orbs! Speaking of...the Orb of Confusion: it was sitting on the kitchen counter right behind us. I pointed to it. I asked him if THIS is what he used it for. That set him off again. He absolutely dissolved into belly laughs. "BATS! You thought I wanted to eat a bat." The child could NOT stop laughing. I asked him if he had added to his collection. I wondered if perhaps he had acquired the Orb of Silliness when I wasn't looking. "Mama, you are soooo weird." He made himself snort he was laughing so hard. Just when I thought he'd pulled himself together, I heard him say "Bats!" while he was putting on his shoes in the other room. He got on the bus and shouted out the window, "Bats for breakfast!"
We're having hamburgers for dinner tonight. I think I'm going to be hard pressed to keep myself from slipping a plastic bat underneath the top bun on Havoc's plate. I'd do about anything to make him laugh like that again.
(I try not to imagine a thirty-year old Havoc explaining his childhood. "Well, there was this one year when my parents gave my brother a toilet seat for his birthday and then my mom served Batburgers for dinner. ")