Tuesday, March 14, 2006

As Seen on Fox News, Oprah, and ESPN2

You know that spot on NPR, "This I Believe"? I am starting my own bloggery version which shall be called "This Disturbs Me". I could have an entire blog dedicated solely to this theme, but I don't and I won't. I'm waaaay too easily distracted to stick to one theme. Instead, I'll just give you today's entry here, on this plain ole, hodge podge blog. (<--And by today's I actually mean last week's. Chronologically challenged=me.)

This Disturbs Me:
At the pediatrician's office, with my asthmatic and now anemic 11-year old, I was given a sample of this product. I was firstly and foremostly disturbed to be handed a cure for DIAPER RASH considering we have been a diaper free household for over five years**! I pointed this out to the nurse. "Oh it's not just for diaper rash anymore," she said. She pointed to the poster. Sure enough "It's not just for diaper rash anymore" the poster proclaimed. And in an even bigger font the poster said, "AS SEEN ON FOX NEWS, OPRAH, AND ESPN2!" I see. Well, if OPRAH is giving air time to butt paste then... Well, I'm not sure what then, really. But I tucked the sample into my purse. (And promptly forgot about it until today when I was spilling the contents of my purse onto the ledge in front of the bank teller in search of my checkbook. She saw it and gave me a funny look. She gave me a funnier look when (before I could stop myself) I said, "It's not just for diaper rash anymore." Oh well, there are other banks even in this dinky little town.)

**And for any of you 'do the math' folks out there this statement does NOT mean that my 11- year old wasn't potty trained until age 6. It means that our youngest child is 7. He just didn't happen to be at the pediatrician's with me.**

I was going to post a photo of my actual sample package but unless we want to get into yet another discussion of my sad, sad lack of mad, mad photo skillz (and we don't), I think we should proceed right on to the part where I mention what disturbs me EVEN MORE. And that is when I went to find a picture of this product online to show you, I found a butt paste gift set with a bobble-head doll! A butt paste bobble head? Perhaps that's marketing genius. Perhaps it's just that Boudreaux's target audience is the type of audience that does have to deal with diaper rash (never mind the poster slogan) and also severe sleep deprivation. Perhaps they will buy anything - even butt paste bobble head dolls. Especially butt paste bobble head dolls that have been on ESPN2. And in People magazine.

I don't know. I'm married to a Cajun, remember? These are the folks who get around the 'open container' law by taping a plastic lid onto (and inserting a straw into) a styrofoam cup filled with 32 oz of frozen Vodka Voodoo from the local Cajun Blender drive thru (an establishment, by the way, which posts a hand-lettered sign saying "For more than a gallon, CALL AHEAD". These folks are creative! And on the sauce! And love to fuck with outsiders! No, I don't suppose it bothers me so much that the Boudreaux folks came up with the idea of a butt paste bobble head. I just don't want to meet anyone sleep deprived enough to have purchased one. And I sure as heck don't want to meet a non-sleep-deprived person who bought one. And lordy, stop me before I find the right words to describe the butt paste bib. Booze or no booze, the person who came up with that should be fired.
I'm just saying.


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