Monday, March 06, 2006

Pickles and Ice Cream for Lunch

No the rabbit didn't die. The refrigerator did. And we had to throw out everything except the hardy foods like pickles and mustard. And who wants to eat mustard all by itself? Ewww. The freezer is fine - hence the ice cream. Although if you want to be technical about it - it's not really ice cream, it's Luigi's Cherry Italian Ice. Yummy lunch! Healthy! Or not. But it doesn't matter because it's the only thing left in the house except the Oreo's (which I'm saving for dessert) and the beer (which I can't drink since I gave up alcohol for Lent.) And I KNOW it's all we have left, because prior to settling for the pickles and italian ice - I looked in the now-defunct fridge about a million and twelve times. My brain knows the fridge is dead but somehow my brain has not seen fit to forward the message to the rest of the body. Perhaps my brain can be forgiven this lapse as I am certain it is still in shock from having spent $1700 on a new fridge that won't be delivered for a week. A WEEK! Lord, someone tell me how people all over the globe feed huge families like mine without refrigeration. I know they do. They probably go to cute little markets every day and come home to whip up gourmet meals. Or, more likely, they eat beans and rice. I know I shouldn't whine. I am, in fact, very grateful to be getting a new fridge at all (especially one with an automatic icemaker because a never ending ice supply is significantly more fun than just plain ole refrigeration any day of the week and twice on Sundays!) But having said that, I am still feeling awfully whiny about having to be creative and/or having to go to the store - the grocery store which I love the way I love root canals - every day. If my refrigerator weren't already dead, I would kill it for putting me in this position.

Really, I'm not great at handling machine malfunction in general. I'm certainly not great at having to pay a ridiculous amount of money for a machine that I'm not going to like or trust anyway. For example, we still don't own a vacuum cleaner. We drive over and borrow the shop's vacuum every week or so because I hate to vacuum. I swiffer all the time but I hate to vacuum. And who wants to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on a machine to help them do something they hate?! Really.

Refrigerators, however, help us eat well. While eating is not my favorite thing, it is, in fact, my children's reason for living. When I ask about school the first thing I ever hear is what they had for lunch, which morphs into a conversation about what they can have for snack and when is dinner going to be ready anyway. I promise you that the folks who created the Cheerio, M&M, and Oreo counting books are marketing geniuses. I don't watch tv, but since my kids like to I make them identify what marketers are trying to sell them. The categories are "Junk we can't afford and don't want anyway" and "Sugar" (aka 'Junk Toys' and 'Junk Food'). It's great to watch cartoons with my kids because they get into a contest with each other about who can shout out the right ad category. (Havoc's Hint: scream 'sugar' every time and you will be right 5 out of 6 times!) Mayhem is the one who told me in confidence that he knows they're just trying to get him to buy junk food - but "Mom, it works! I want to eat that food!" Yes siree I tell him - THAT'S what I want y'all to understand. It works. You have to be strong. Otherwise you will be like a lemming "lovin it" at McD's. Or you will be tricked into believing that you should "be the boss" and "choose your sauce" at ....eeep - some chicken restaurant? KFC? Even if you can't remember the ads, you will not be able to resist when you are tired. You will find yourself like a zombie pulling into the drive thru lane because you can't. figure. out. anything. else. to. eat.
I, myself, would not be sitting here eating the dregs left in the old refrigerator if it weren't for the fact that I absolutely don't want to leave my house! Out of strength or out of laziness, I'm resisting! My resistance movement may be short lived, however. I'm not sure there are enough pickles to go around for supper.

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